


Ace & Dice

by nico_neo



Series: Ace Of My Heart [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childcare Assistant Jeno, Emotional Constipation, Fluff, Kid Fic, Multi, Sexual Tension, Single Dad Jaemin, Wedding Planner Jaemin, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-01 14:32:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18802243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nico_neo/pseuds/nico_neo
Summary: “I still can’t make up the fact that you have been having an affair with my sister, right under my nose. And now? You’re getting married? What kind of best friend are you Huang Renjun?”Or in which Yerim and Renjun give the whole planning of their wedding to a very reluctant Jeno because of a unexpected pregnancy.Jeno is hopeless.Until he meet Jaemin and things ensue, that is.





	Ace & Dice

**Author's Note:**

> So, this fic is probably the longest shit I've ever written and I don't know if I'll ever be able to write another one like that lol
> 
> Yeah...
> 
> Anyway, this contents: a cute kid, emotional constipation and a bit of sexual content, nothing to graphic though but just a warning beforehand. 
> 
> Thanks to Lara and Siri for being the first readers, I love you both <3
> 
> I made a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/fqxycltl055rwjtg7oco1rr11/playlist/7n89Lift3g9oI7whLROLVE?si=OU8I5j50TfS7qnqY-ipnVg)  
> for this fic, you can listen to it while reading if you want ~
> 
> Enjoy, I guess?

“I still can’t make up the fact that you have been having an affair with my _sister_ , right under my nose. And now? You’re getting married? What kind of best friend are you Huang Renjun?” the black-haired said, slurping angrily on his orange juice with his straw.

On the other side of the screen, a brown-haired chinese boy laughed loudly while a raven-haired girl snickered, hiding her smile behind her hand. The tattooed male pointed his index finger at her, straw still in his mouth.

“And you! Lee _fucking_ Yerim. Lying right to my face? Not telling me a single thing? What kind of _twin_ sister are you? I can’t believe we come from the same ovum.” he huffed.

“You know, Jeno, your reaction right now is exactly why we didn’t want to tell you anything.” Renjun added while Yerim nodded, adding a small “yep” of approval.

“Oh, and now that I’m not here but miles and countries away is the best way to tell me, sure.” Jeno said, sarcastically. Slurping on his juice again he added. “You’re _sleeping_ with my sister dimwit, how did you think I would react. You’re corrupting her for all I know. She’s still a baby.”

“I’m older than you, cretin.” Yerim retorted, rolling her eyes. She then quickly glanced at Renjun and looked back at him again. “Speaking about sleeping-”

“- We have something to tell you.” Renjun finished.

Jeno quirked a brow, slurping on his orange juice, more calmly this time before speaking.

“What? You splitted the condom?” He said jokingly.

“Well…”

The boy’s eyes widened and he choked his juice, spilling the most of it on the ground - or more exactly on his poor cat who was peacefully sleeping, and who woke up with a hiss before running away.

“Renjun, you son of a bitch.”

  
  


(“I’m so going to murder you Injun.” Jeno said once he had cleaned up his mess, glaring at his best friend. And at his sister too.

“We wanted you to be the godfather?” The chinese male tried.

“Fuck you.”)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The next morning, on his way to work at the Dream Child Care Center, in New York, Jeno recounted the last evening in his head. Renjun, the son of a bitch. First, he dares to flirt with his sister once Jeno’s abroad. Manages to start a relationship with her, get engaged. And now? A baby?

And Yerim? Not telling him a single thing?

The audacity.

Top ten anime betrayals.

But Jeno allows himself a laugh when he thinks how their mother is going to freak out and have a talk with Yerim about having children before the actual marriage.

When it’s his bus stop, Jeno hops off the bus, rolling his jacket sleeves up, showing off his tattooed right arm and hand to whoever wanted to check it out and started walking the few streets he had left to his workplace.

The Dream Child Care Center was one, if not the only place who accepted Jeno in their team when he sent his job application when he was still in Korea. All the other ones he applied to - and Yerim and Renjun know how many emails he sent - turned him down. Korean? Stay at home, buddy. Tattoos? It’s not a fashion show, kid. A man taking care of little children? What would people think? Search for another job, brat. And so on.

And when Jeno really considered changing his whole school curriculum and just selling tires instead, and staying in his birth country, he got one answer. From the DCCC. Telling him how wonderful it would be to have a man on the team, and that they were waiting for him. When he read that there were no counter-arguments concerning his nationality nor the amount of ink he had on the arm, he felt like crying. Yerim still tease him with that, by the way. His parents - mostly his mother, on the other hand, did cry. Pulling him in a bone-crushing hug, whispering how proud she was of him, that it was the better thing that could ever happen to him - before adding that now he won’t be staying at home and eating chips all day when being a twenty-one-year-old grown-up.

In other words, she was proud of him but literally kicking him of the house at the same time.

He stopped trying to understand his mother. His father was easier to understand, a nod of the head and a “I’m proud of you son.” leaving his lips before he got back to his journal again.

Yerim just throw him in his plane to New York without telling him a proper goodbye, stating that she had things to do. His mother called him a few days later, explaining that Yerim cried her eyeballs out on the way home, whimpering that she missed her twin brother already. This story earns him a “fuck you” and a middle finger from Yerim each time he teases her about it.

And now, here he was, twenty three, having a job in a foreign country he always dreamt to live in, having an apartment entering his budget, a cat (who is still hating him for dropping his orange juice), and literally living his best life taking care of cute children.

He’s also dying because of the summer heat even though it’s not even 8 and because he’s wearing black but that’s a detail.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The tattooed male entered the center, the automatic doors closing behind him. He quickly jogged to his locker, put his bag in it, got rid of his jacket, closed the locker and made his way the main room. The kids weren’t there yet, but it was just a matter of time. The center opens at 7:30am and it’s 7:25. Jeno greeted his colleagues and went to the sink at the corner of the room to wash his hands.

At 7:30 sharp, the first mother brought her kid, a 4-months-old cutie who Jeno immediately took from her mother’s arms, smiling politely at her before going to the sleeping room.

He cooed at the little one when she moved her little arms and put her in the crib, waiting for her to fall back asleep. The black-haired stayed a bit longer than necessary, thinking about how in a few months, it’ll be his nephew or niece he could see sleeping.

He still wanted to kill Renjun though.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Taking care of children between three months and three years old, all day from 7:30am to 7pm was _really_ tiring. But Jeno loved and was so grateful for his job so there was no room to complain. Even if he felt like his head was going to explode some days.

His life became some kind of routine. All work and no play. Eat, work, sleep, repeat. But Jeno liked it the way it was.

Of course, they were some surprises too.

Like Yerim not minding the time difference and calling him at midnight, New York time, right when he was about to fall asleep after petting Oreo - his cat, he is black and white, and Jeno was eating Oreos when he found him in the street - for what felt like hours, when the poor animal clearly didn’t want anything but to sleep even more than how much he slept through his day - cats life is hard.

Grunting like a madman, Jeno tattooed right hand grabbed his phone on his nightstand and answered Yerim FaceTime call.

“I was about to sleep, fuck you.” he mumbled, face squished in his pillows.

“Don’t lie to me, you were about to watch cats videos.” his sister retorted.

“It’s midnight, I wake up in six hours. I’m not that crazy to sleep later than that.”

“You were spending full nights on essays you had to render for the day after because you didn’t do shit during the former weeks.”

Ok, she had a point.

“Anyway,” he yawned. “Why are you calling?”

“We told mom and dad, with Renjun. During lunch.”

Jeno quirked a brow. Patiently waiting for his sister’s answer.

“Mom gave us the talk.”

The black-haired bursted out laughing, scaring the shit out of the poor Oreo.

“Sorry, buddy.” Jeno apologized. He looked back at his sister blurry image on his broken phone screen. He really needed to change it. “Did she make both of you read the Hail Mary, like, four times in a row?”

When Yerim didn’t answer and just puffed her cheeks, Jeno knew he was right. He made fun of her for a few minutes before they both calmed down. Sleep taking advantage of Jeno’s body.

“You’re so fucked.” He mumbled, ready to fall asleep any seconds from now. When Yerim snorted, he made a disgusted face. “Oh my god, shut up. I didn’t need that. Where’s the Holy Water. I hate you. Disgusting.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Come one buddy, let’s clean you up.” Jeno said to the little a year and a half in front of him, who had carrot mash all around his mouth and on his cheeks. The black-haired grabbed a tissue and carefully wiped the orange mash from the toddler’s face. Once done, the little wiggled his arms up, sending a toothless smile to the tattooed man. Jeno cooed at him, caressing his cheeks with his index fingers before picking him up. The baby babbled happily, looking at Jeno who looked back at him.

“We’re gonna change you and put you to sleep, yeah?”

The toddler babbled again, this time placing his chubby little hands on Jeno’s cheeks and pursed his lips, bringing the older’s face closer to his. Jeno pecked the baby’s lips, then his cheek and moved to the nursing room to change him. He playfully blew raspberries on the kid’s tummy, making him laugh. Then, he tucked him to bed.

“Sleep well, baby.” He whispered and exited the room.

Coming back to the main play area, he ran a hand through his hair, gaze meeting one of his older female co-worker. She smiled softly at him and pointed to the sleeping room with her head. Jeno looked behind him, from where he was coming, then back at her, with a confused face. Her smile only grew wider.

“You’re great with them you know?” She said.

Jeno was becoming awkward now.

“Well, we have to. Don’t we?”

“What I mean is, you’re _great_. You would be a wonderful father.”

The black-haired felt a blush rising to his cheeks. He cleared his throat and rubbed his neck with his tattooed hand. Searching for a distraction, he excused himself and busied himself playing doll’s tea set with a little girl, who happily served him his fake tea.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and quickly look at it.

Yerim was telling him they needed to do a video chat with Renjun, tonight. And there was no room for arguments.

Jeno replied with a “ _yes, chief.”_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Knowing his sister and best-friend-soon-to-be-brother-in-law (it was still really weird to him knowing Renjun will be his brother in law in a few months) will spam him with video call notifications soon, Jeno rapidly set his table in front of his computer, which consisted of a plate, fork, knife and a glass of water.

He could have eaten a good XXL pizza in front of his favorite TV show (he really liked Sons Of Anarchy these days), but no. He just made himself a salad and a sandwich because he knew the call was going to be long. Maybe even very long.

He didn’t have time to take one bite of his sandwich that a Skype notification popped up. He clicked on the green button and soon, Yerim and Renjun’s smiling faces greeted him.

“Hi, fuckers…. Wait, nevermind. Hi. Can I eat my sandwich while you speak?” he asked, even though he bite through it not a second later. “What did you want to talk about?” he added, mouth full and a salad leaf sticking on his chin.

“We wanted to talk to you about the marriage actually.” Renjun started. “Dude, can you even eat correctly, you have salad on your chin.”

“Is the planning going well?” the tattooed one asked, rubbing the green leaf off his chin.

“Well we are having some difficult times.” Renjun said, looking carefully at Yerim.

Jeno was confused at this point. Yerim seemed...moody.

“You’re okay, sis?” he asked, a bit concerned.

Renjun made big eyes to him and Jeno wanted to ask why the fuck he was doing that but before he could, he heard Yerim sniffle, and his own eyes widened so much under the surprised he dropped his sandwich.

“Injun, you son of a- what did you do to her?!”

“I didn’t do anything, shut up!”

“Then why is my sister cry-”

“It’s the fucking hormones, you moron. Do you use your brain sometimes?” Renjun hissed. He cradled a sobbing Yerim in his arms and tried to soothe her.

“I fucking hate you.” She whimpered. “Why did you have to put your di-”

“Wow, wow! Sis, keep it PG, Oreo is still a child.”

Yerim showed him her middle finger. Typical, he wasn’t surprised.

But now he knew that a 3 months pregnant Yerim was a hard to lived Yerim. Well, good luck Renjun.

He exhaled a bit and spoke again.

“Please don’t cry. It’s going to be okay.” He tried to reassure her.

‘It’s not!” she cried. “I change ideas every minutes, I’m not pleased with anything. It’s driving me crazy.”

“It’s the hormones, it’s okay.” the male twin replied. Renjun face palmed.

“I _fucking_ know that, dimwit. No need to remind me.” she said, voice dark. She punched Renjun in the arm. “It’s your fault.” she simply stated.

The chinese male looked at his best friend, hopeful.

Jeno raised his hands in the air, mouthing a “you should have keep it in your pants.” Renjun glared back at him and the younger shrugged.

“Okay, can we now go back to the initial subject of this call? What did you want to say to me?”

“We wanted to ask you if you were willing to prepare the wedding in our place?” Renjun said.

“Well, you don’t really have a choice, I don’t want to deal with marriage preparations ever again.” Yerim added.

Jeno spit back his water in his glass.

“What?!” he choked.

When he noticed their serious expressions, Jeno wanted to cry.

Well… shit.

  
  


(“Can you really not do it?” he asked Renjun on the phone, a few days later.

“Your sister would kill me if she sees nothing but a paper talking about wedding.”

“Where is the ‘i’m with you until the end of the line’ promise we made in elementary school?”

“We were nine. And you don’t know what it is a hormonal woman.”

“I thought we would be by each other’s side even in front of death. And of course not and I’ll never know, I’m gay dude, what the fuck.”

“Abort mission, your sister is scarier.”

“Coward.”)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s been weeks, maybe a month since Yerim and Renjun asked him to do all the preparations. And Jeno didn’t do anything until now. See, he was not interested in weddings in the first place, and he had better things to do. Like trying to calm down a crying two year-old baby girl who fell while playing outside.

Jeno was rocking her on his hips, patting her back while she cried in his neck, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“Come on, sweetheart, don’t cry. It’s okay.” he whispered. “Do you want me to kiss it better?” he asked.

The little blonde girl put her face away from his neck, and he took advantage of it to wipe the tears off her face. She presented her elbow to him. As promised, he kissed it, once, twice and then kissed her cheeks instead until he heard her giggle, wriggling in his arms. He put her on the ground and she ran to her friends, as if the little owie never occurred. The black-haired giggled at that.

Remembering the wedding, his happy face morphed into a frown.

Seriously, couldn’t his parents do it?

  
  


(“Your sister wants it to be you though, Jeno.” his mother said when he talked about it with her a few days later.

“But mom!” he whined. “I don’t even know how to plan a day at work, how do you want me to plan a wedding? Can’t you do it with dad?”

“It will be special to her, Jeno. It’ll be even more special if it is from you.” she added, wisely.

Jeno groaned.)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Today, was Saturday. It was the middle of September and the first idea of a date for the wedding was expected for March of the next year. So, six months and a half from now. Yerim and Renjun asked him to plan their wedding in July, and if Jeno had most of August off, he didn’t do shit. He could have search for places, make the wedding announcement card, what they would eat. But no, Jeno spent his month of August going out, getting wasted, making out and even more with hot strangers but never calling them back. He also spent most of his days sleeping, trying to recover from the many hangovers.

So yeah, wedding wasn’t part of his vocabulary this past month.

And now, searching for who he could invite to his sister’s wedding, he felt like he was back to college again and finishing essays in the middle of the night.

He really hates weddings.

When he bangs his head on the table for the fourth and final time, having a breakdown because he couldn’t find anyone else other than their parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and Renjun’s family to convey to the wedding, Oreo jumped on the desk. He nuzzled his face against Jeno’s, the black-haired turned his face to be face to face with the feline.

“I’m so fucked.” he said to him.

And he swears he saw judgment in the black and white cat’s pupils.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


At the beginning of October and realizing the month he first chose the wedding to be will occur at the same time that Yerim was supposed to give birth (so now he was dateless) and hundreds of breakdowns later: Jeno reached his breaking point.

But he wouldn’t tell his sister that. So, sending a ‘SOS motherfucker’ text to Renjun, asking him to call him when he’s done with work and _away_ from a very hormonal Yerim, because they needed to talk _business_.

And Jeno’s sanity.

From: **the guy i thought was my best friend**

_Can’t call rn. Busy painting the last canvas before the exposition. Wdyw?_

To: **the guy i thought was my best friend**

_You to plan your own fucking wedding._

_I’m going crazy._

_I can’t even hear that word anymore without having a breakdown._

 

_Answer me, fucker._

 

From: **the guy i thought was my best friend**

_xxx-xxx-xxx_

_Go there and thank me later._

_And don’t tell your sister._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The next day, exceptionally, Jeno finished work earlier than usual. He asked for it in order to go the wedding planning office Renjun sent him the night before. He had trouble leaving, it was like every single kid was clinging on him to prevent him from leaving. Screams of “Jeno, play with me a little more!” and “Nono! Don’t go!” and a chorus of sad babbling, the tattooed male had to emergency call two of his colleagues to be able to leave and not being late to his appointment.

So, now, after what felt like going to the other side of New York when in reality it was a 20 minutes bus ride and 5 minutes walking by foot, he arrived.

The front of the store was as white as a wedding dress robe could be and Jeno cringed.

Keeping a straight face, he pushed the door open.

Everything was white he felt like his eyes will explode any seconds from now. Before they could though, a woman, sitting behind the counter asked him if she could help him. Jeno politely smiled at her and made his way closer to the counter.

“Yeah, hum. I called for an appointment yesterday.” he said.

“Can I have your name, please?”

“Lee Jeno.”

She looked through her agenda, glasses perched on her nose, and seeing them reminded Jeno that he forgot his own at home. And that he was somehow very blind now. After a few seconds, she lifted her head back to look at him and smiled.

“I’ll go and search our planner. It shouldn’t be long, you can wait on the sofas right there if you want.” she pointed a sitting area with her hand.

Jeno turned around to look at it, ready to go and sit until he noticed the shaped-heart love seats, which made him cringe again.

He offered a fake smile to the secretary.

“I’ll just wait here, thank you.”

She nodded and disappeared in the corridor leading to he didn’t know where, on the right.

With having nothing else to do, he rummaged through the hundreds pamphlets, suggesting people to have recourse to a wedding planner. Happy brooms and brides smiling widely for the pictures, huge ass ceremony room, delicious food on trails, bigs “ _Let our best planners organize the best day of your life!”_ and all that shit written at the top of the pamphlet.

Seeing all of that, Jeno started to have trust issues. Adds are one thing, the real thing is another.

He started to get self esteem issues too. Was he really that shitty he needed the help of a stranger to organize one, if not, the most important day of his twin sister’s life?

Seems so.

What a shitty twin he was.

While he was drowning himself in self pity and how he wouldn’t be able to face Yerim ever again if he messed this up, he didn’t notice the man coming back with the secretary behind him.

“Are you Lee Jeno?”

Jeno turned around so fast he almost give himself whiplash. And maybe he should have turned more slowly because now his head was spinning.

Or maybe it was just because the man in front of him was the most beautiful man Jeno had ever seen. And he was hot.

All Jeno’s one night stands reunited can go back where they come from.

Jeno was very gay panicking right now. And the smile the honey-haired man gave him wasn’t helping. Not at all.

“I’m Na Jaemin, your wedding planner.” he smiled, revealing white teeth.

Shit.

 

Eventually, after Jeno recovered from his gay panicking moment and became his awkward self again, he introduced himself as well, shook hands with the planner, and smiled too.

Jaemin invited him to move to his office so they could talk organization. The tattooed male followed him, walking to the end of the white walls corridor and turning right before entering the planner’s office.

And if Jeno wasn’t surprised to find a desk and all the furnitures that characterizes an office, he was however startled to find a little boy playing with toys in the corner of the room.

A ‘what the fuck’ banner was passing inside his brain. But that would be impolite to ask. So he’ll just live with the fact that there was a three-year-old kid inside a wedding planner’s office.

Jaemin must have thought he was staring too long because he shed some light on the situation for him.

“It’s my son.” the honey-haired explained. “I hope you don’t mind him staying with us? His babysitter is sick so I had to take him with me at work.”

Oh.

Clearing his throat, he averted his gaze from the little kid to look at Jaemin. Jeno shook his head.

“No, not at all.”

He would be impolite to say yes anyway, wouldn’t it? And Jeno’s mother taught him to be polite.

The tattooed black-haired looked at the kid, who lifted his head and cutely waved at him - he waved back - and sat down on one of the chairs facing Jaemin’s desk. The other quickly looked at his son before looking back at him and tapping on his computer keyboard.

“So, Jeno. Can I call you by your name?” When Jeno nodded, he went on. “What do you want me to help with for your marriage?”

Jeno’s eyes widened at the question.

“Hum...Actually, it’s not for...me. I mean it’s not my marriage I need help with.” he explained, kind of awkwardly because yes Jeno, what would you be asking a wedding planner if it was not for your marriage.

Jaemin’s mouth shaped in a little ‘o’ form. He cleared his throat.

“Who is it for then?” he asked.

“It’s for my sister.” after a second, he added. “And my best friend.” he rolled his eyes at that, making Jaemin giggled.

“Okay.” he nodded, tapping on his keyboard. “Do you have a date in mind?”

Jeno was about to say yes when he remembered that, no, his sister would probably be in labour. Yeah, bad idea. So, he shook his head no, instead.

“We can start with that.” Jaemin proposed. “Once we have a date, everything would be easy.”

Jeno didn’t know if it was a lie or not but he nodded anyway. The honey-haired was about to speak again but little hands on Jeno’s thighs made the tattooed male look down.

The little boy was looking at him curiously. When Jeno met his gaze, he smiled, some teeth missing.

“Hi mister! What’s your name?” he asked.

“Daemin.” Jaemin voice sternly said. “Papa is working.”

Jeno swore the little almost rolled his eyes before looking at his father.

“But papa!” he whined. “I want to know the mister’s name.” he pouted.

The black-haired wanted to coo. Daemin looked back at him, still pouting  and Jeno could only smile.

“My name is Jeno. Nice to meet you, Daemin.”

“You’re pretty!” the little boy squealed, happily.

Jeno felt himself blushing, this boy was too cute. He scratched his nose with his right hand. At its view, Daemin’s eyes shined. He pointed to the dices and cards tattoos with his little index finger.

“So pretty!”

The black-haired winked at the little boy, who turned to look at his father. Jaemin was looking at Daemin with stars in his eyes.

“Papa, I want some too!”

“No, you’re too young.”

Daemin groaned. He turned to Jeno again, gently tapping his chubby hands on the older thighs. Jeno wanted to cradle him in his arms and cover him in kisses.

“How old are you?” he asked the older.

“I’m twenty three, and you?”

Daemin was looking at his fingers curiously.

“How do you make twenty-three with your fingers?” he showed his fingers to Jeno. The black-haired chuckled and showed him.

“Well, you don’t have enough fingers to make a twenty-three so, you do it like that twice,” he raised his ten fingers twice. “And then, like this.” he showed three fingers only.

Daemin nodded, succeeding to show ten fingers twice, but when it was time to show the three last, he only showed two. Jeno put his third finger in the air. The kid smiled happily.

“Me, I am...” he looked at his fingers again for a few seconds before showing three of them.

“Three? What a big boy.” Jeno praised him.

Daemin nodded and tapped the tattooed male thighs with his hands again.

“Jeno, can you come and play with me?”

He heard Jaemin sigh but before the planner could say anything, Jeno spoke.

“I have to discuss with your papa, right now. It’s very important.”

The kid pouted again. And Jeno felt himself getting weak.

“But,” he said, mysteriously. “Maybe when we’re done.” he whispered.

The kid beamed excitedly and went back to his toys, pleased. On the other hand, Jeno’s eyes widened when he realized what he just said. Who did he think he is? What if Jaemin thought he was some kind of creep. He didn’t know the kid, even less the father. He wasn’t at work, what was he thinking.

So before Jaemin could say anything, apologizes flew from Jeno’s mouth.

“Sorry, sorry. Professional quirk!” he stuttered.

Jaemin seemed to break out of his trance, looking at Jeno, confused. He then shook his head with furrowed brows.

“Why are you apologizing? You weren’t obligate to do that, so I should say thank you.”

“We don’t know each other?” Jeno stared at him blankly. Was the dude out of his mind?

“And so?” the honey-haired shrugged. “You love kids and are at ease with them, I can see that. And the little demon right there seems to have an interest in you, if I prevent him of playing with you for a few minutes, I’ll never hear the end of it.” Sending a smile to Jeno, he added, his gaze down. “Besides, you’re probably the only client Daemin’s presence doesn’t bother.”

At that, Jeno furrowed his eyebrows.

“What do you mean?”

Jaemin pouted a little. And looked sheepish.

“His babysitter being sick was a lie. I don’t have a babysitter. I’m always taking him with me.”

Oh.

Again, before Jeno could even process his words, they flew out of his mouth like water.

“There’s a child care center I work at a few blocks away from here.”

Jaemin looked at him with raised brow. And it’s at this moment Jeno understood what he implied.

“I mean,” he blushed, rubbing his neck. “If you ever want to drop him off during the day.”

He hesitantly looked at Jaemin, and was surprised when the other actually had a contemplative face. The planner met his gaze and grinned.

“I’ll think about it.” he said, solemnly.

Jeno smiled back.

  


After setting a temporary date until Renjun and Yerim approved of it, that Jeno shared with Jaemin his difficulties with the preparations and that the black-haired kept his promise to play with Daemin, the planner said they’ll have to take another appointment to discuss more into the details of the things.

As he was about to leave, Jaemin called him back. Jeno turned around with a questioning look.

“What was the name of the child care center you told me about?” Jaemin asked with a grin.

Jeno internally gay panicked again.

  
  
  
  


To: **baby twin (who’s grown up so fast, rip TAT)**

_Is a May wedding okay with you?_

_The baby would be born by then, right?_

From: **i’m the older twin, poop head (but ily ig)**

_Yes i won’t be a whale in a wedding robe anymore._

_Thank you for sparing me that._

To: **baby twin (who’s grown up so fast, rip TAT)**

_When I proposed you to come with me at the gym, you never wanted to and now you’re complaining._

From: **i’m the older twin, poop head (but ily ig)**

_Choke and die._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s been a good two weeks since Jeno met Jaemin. Their next appointment was expected to be in one week from now on. If the planner asked him about the Dream Children Care Center, he never saw him there nor Daemin though.

Jeno arrived at 7:25am like always, he put his bag in his locker and went to wash his hands. He would be in charge of opening the center and welcoming the children today, so he made his way to the main door. At 7:30am, he deactivated the lock and the first parents made their way inside. He mentioned to the older children to put their jackets and bags in their assigned lockers while his colleagues took the younger babies in their arms and to the sleeping room.

When the last parent arrived, Jeno cradled the three-months-old little boy in his arms, rocking him gently and exchanged a smile with the mother, who wished him a good day.

He was about to turn around when he spotted someone coming their way. Surely another parent. He waited a few seconds more until he could finally realized who it was.

A smiling three-year-old came running to him, followed by a also smiling tall honey-haired man.

Jeno’s eyes widened but a smile rapidly took place on his face when Daemin spoke.

“Jeno! Hi!” he waved at him, even though he was mere centimeters from him.

The older gently shushed him, mentioning to the sleeping baby in his arms. Daemin muttered a “oops” and giggled. Jeno left Daemin to watch at Jaemin instead. The planner smiled back at him.

“Does it bother you if I drop him for the day?” he asked. When he saw the “are you serious?” look Jeno was giving him he rubbed the back of his neck. “Okay, sorry dumb question.” He crouched down on his knees, facing Daemin. “I’ll come fetch you when I’m done at work, okay? You remember what I told you?”

Daemin nodded.

“Not giving Jeno and the other ladies, or children, troubles.” the kid recited. Jaemin agreed with a nod of his head.

“That’s right.” the father smiled. “Now, come and give me a hug.”

The toddler happily obliged, jumped in his dad awaiting arms under Jeno’s fond look. Jaemin kissed his son ahead and ushered him inside.

“I love you.” He said.

“Love you too, papa!”

Jaemin chuckled, getting up again and facing Jeno. He smiled softly at the baby sleeping in the other’s arms. Jeno smiled back and they stayed here a few seconds, watching Daemin getting rid of his jacket and going to play with the other kids. At some point, one of Jeno’s co-worker had to take the baby from his arms to tuck him to bed. Jeno apologized sheepishly.

“Funny how he acts like a literal angel with you while he’s the literal spawn of Satan at home.”

Jeno felt himself blush at that and stuttered out a “r-really?” and Jaemin didn’t seem to noticed it, replying instead.

“Yeah. I think he likes you.” He chuckled. “I have to go now. I’ll come and fetch him tonight.” Jeno simply nodded, feeling awkward. “If I don’t see you… I’ll see you next week? At the office?”

“Sure! We should see each other before that, though.”

Jaemin just smiled and started leaving, but not before sparing a last glance at Jeno, who was entering the play area to play with Daemin.  
  


(“Jeno! Can we draw?” Daemin asked him, his attention not focused on the toys in front of him anymore.

“Sure, sweetpea. What do you want to draw?” Jeno asked, cleaning up some abandoned toys in the colored baskets.

“Can I color the drawings on your arms?”)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


For their next appointments, Jeno and Jaemin discussed about the receiving location and the announcement card design and who to send it to. It was mostly Jaemin who talked, exposing his numerous ideas to Jeno, who just settled for listening to him. And starring a little bit.

What? Can’t he enjoy the view?

“I have a few ideas for the place. And I have colleagues on site, they can send me pics and I’ll transfer them to you?” Jaemin proposed, looking curiously at Jeno.

“Yeah, sure. That’ll be great!”

A small smirk made its way on Jaemin’s face.

“Then… Can I have your number?” his smirk grew wider.

Saying Jeno didn’t blush from the moment he gave his phone to Jaemin to the moment the planner gave him back was a understatement.

  


The same night, on the phone with Yerim, Jeno related her of the events of the past few weeks, his sister squealing behind her phone

“You made an impression on him, bro.” she stated.

“What the fuck, Yerim?”

“Oh come on, do you seriously think a wedding planner would ask your phone number just to send ceremony hall pics?”

“I never told you he was a wedding planner, though…” Jeno said, confused.

“Renjun betrayed himself when I asked him who Na Jaemin was.” she explained, putting a spoonful of chocolate ice cream in her mouth.

“You weren’t supposed to know.” Jeno mumbled. “How low you must think of me right now.”

“I knew that from the moment we asked you to take care of the preparations.”

“Fuck you.”

“Love you too, little bro. Go get your man while planning my wedding.”

“It’s not like that, oh my god!” the tattooed twin whined, burying his face into his pillows.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Seeing Jaemin on a regular basis now became a sort of daily routine. He would drop Daemin off at the center in the morning, and he would fetch him back in the evening. Sometimes the three-year-old didn’t want to leave, claiming Jeno was funnier and they could play a lot and that’s why he didn’t want to go home yet. It always take a promise they would play and do cool stuff the next day from Jeno for Daemin to finally let the subject go and to stop pouting. He would always give Jeno’s cheek a sloppy kiss before jumping in his father’s arms, asking him if they could watch The Lion King when they get home. Jaemin would always send Jeno a helpless stare, making the black-haired giggle, before wishing him a good night and leaving.

They didn’t talk much though, but their eyes held the unspoken conversations.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


At the beginning of November, Jaemin sent a message to Jeno on a Saturday.

From: **Na Jaemin**

_Good news! The announcement cards just arrived!_

_[Image attached]_

From: **Lee Jeno**

_Cool! Must send them now._

From: **Na Jaemin**

_;)_

_We have another appointment next week, right? I have things to show you ~_

  
  
  


(“He’s totally flirting. Maybe he even wants to get laid.” Yerim said, reading the screenshot Jeno sent her.

“He’s not, holy baby Jesus. Why are you like this?”)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Proving Yerim wrong, Jaemin didn’t want to have sex with Jeno during their next appointment. No, Jaemin only wanted to show him a place he think would be great for the wedding reception. It wasn’t far from the church they would intend and it was quite spacious. Perfect.

“There’s another room upstairs.” Jaemin added. “If ever the kids, mostly the younger ones are sleepy and need a quieter place.”

Jeno agreed, smiling to the other. Jaemin sent him back his smile, and the black-haired felt like he could gay panic again. But before anything, Jaemin got out a white sheet of paper and started to draw on it.

“For the tables arrangement, I thought about this- ”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


From: **the guy i thought was my best friend**

_How do I kindly tell your sister I’m exhausted of preparing her chocolate ice cream in the middle of the night and that I have an exhibition in a few days?_

_Why does she even want that, what the fuck?_

From: **the gay bitch (soon to be in law)**

_It’s the hormones, Renjun._

_Do you use your brain sometimes?_

_(You did this to yourself anyway :P)_

From: **the guy i thought was my best friend**  

_Bitch._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


When the first snow fell, and that they couldn’t let the kid play outside anymore, the playing room was a cacophony of babbles, giggles and screams. Jeno was seated on one of the many colorful and numerous foam carpet, carefully watching the kids who were sliding down the little slide in the middle of the room. He chuckled when he saw Emily, a two-year-old little red-haired girl falling down with a thud because she didn’t expect to slide this fast. She looked at Jeno and burst out laughing before running to him, wrapping her little arms around his neck, her mouth in his hair, leaving what seemed to be kisses on it. The black-haired softly pushed her back to hug her properly. She stayed still for a few seconds before wriggling in his arms so he let her go.

“Don’t slide too fast this time, yeah?” he winked.

Emily giggled and ran to take another slide turn. Jeno kept watching them a little bit more but sniffled next to him made him advert his gaze.

Daemin was crying.

“Hey, buddy.” Jeno mentioned to the little boy to come closer, ruffling his hair. “What’s wrong?”

“Nono...Aaron and James were mean.” Daemin mumbled, still sniffling. “They said it wasn’t okay to just have a dad. That I should have a mom too.”

Jeno felt his heart break at the little boy’s statement. Now, tears were rolling down Daemin’s cheeks, and he was close to sobbing. Jeno pulled the toddler closer to him, making him sit on his thighs with his arms around the older’s neck while Jeno wrapped his own around Daemin’s middle, stroking his back soothingly. The kid was fully crying now.

One of Jeno’s colleague sent him a worried look but with a nod of his head, he made understand he got the situation under control.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Jeno called Daemin. “Don’t listen to what they were saying, okay? Whether you only have a dad, or only a mom. Or two dads, or two moms. It’s totally okay. It’s not weird. You hear me?”

Daemin lifted his head from Jeno’s neck to look at him, eyes glassy and a pout on his face. The black-haired wiped the remaining tears away with his tattooed hand and booped the kid’s nose.

“Your dad loves you very much, that’s what matters.”

The toddler offered him a little smile before slightly furrowing his eyebrows.

“Nono... Do you love me too?” he asked, curiously.

Jeno was quite taken aback by the question, but the answer was obvious.

“Of course I love you, kiddo.”

Daemin fully smiled this time and made himself comfortable on Jeno’s lap, against his chest. Jeno rocked him softly, Daemin’s arms loosely wrapped around him.

But now, Jeno’s head was full of questions.  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


When Jaemin came to fetch Daemin, smiling like usual, Jeno had to think several times if he should talk about what happened during the day or not. Fighting the pros and cons, he decided Jaemin deserved to know.

“Hum, something happened today.” Jeno started. “Some boys said things to Daemin.”

When he spotted Jaemin’s worried gaze, he half regretted it. But, again, Jaemin deserved to know. So, reluctantly, Jeno explained. And when Jaemin’s gaze shifted from worried to hurt, Jeno’s heart hurt as well.

“But papa, it’s okay! Jeno told me it was not weird if I don’t have a mom. Because you love me very much!” Daemin said, teeth-missing smile decorating his little face. And Jeno melted at the view.

And so did Jaemin, smiling so wide his cheeks must be hurting. He ruffled Daemin’s hair before picking him up, adjusting him in his arms, the kid’s backpack in his other hand. The honey-haired looked again at Jeno, but this time his pupils reflected gratefulness, and Jeno could only smile back, his eyes disappearing into moon crescents.

“You should smile more often.” Jaemin told him. “Your smile is pretty.”

Jeno turned crimson right away and mumbled a “thank you” under his breath.

“Nono is pretty!” Daemin stated, clapping, and both adults laughed fondly.

The two made their goodbye (Daemin waving at Jeno with a “See you tomorrow, Nono!” as they walked away) and Jeno only went back when he couldn’t see them anymore, his smile not leaving his face. But before he could close the main door, he heard Daemin’s voice echoing in the hallway.

“You know papa, Jeno said he loves me too.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s a few weeks before the Christmas holiday when Jaemin asked Jeno a favor he didn’t expect at all. Well, it didn’t really go like that. It was a Friday evening, and the planner seemed to be in a hurry.

“Something wrong?” Jeno asked, helping Daemin putting on his coat.

“Actually… Yes.” Jaemin said. “I have a work meeting in -” he checked his watch. “Twenty minutes. And I can’t take Daemin with me.”

He looked helpless.

Jeno’s mouth worked faster than his brain.

“I can look for him if you want.” he offered.

Jaemin’s brown eyes widened.

“You’ll do that? No, it’s too much, you’re already taking care of him the whole day, I can’t-”

“Jaemin.” Jeno cut him off, giggling. “I don’t mind, really.”

The honey-haired exhaled loudly, rubbing his forehead.

“Thank you so, _so_ , much, I’ll make it up to you -”

“No need for that, really.”

Daemin looked at the two adults as if he was watching a tennis match before he decided to speak up.

“I want to see Nono’s house!” he said, excitedly.

Jeno looked at Jaemin with a proud look, implying he won the argument. Jaemin huffed.

“Daemin, no troubles at Jeno’s house. Be a good boy, okay?”

The kid nodded, and mentioned at Jeno to lift him up. Jaemin kissed Daemin’s forehead, his face so close to Jeno’s own he could feel his breath. Jaemin stepped backwards, but he was still _too_ close. And he was looking at Jeno. He whispered a last “thank you” before running out.

Jeno let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and looked at Daemin playfully.

“Tell me, do you like cats and strawberry milk?” he asked.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Oh my god. Who is this cute little kid?” Yerim hysterically asked during their weekly Friday video call.

“Hi!” Daemin cutely waved at his twin sister through the screen.

“It’s Jaemin’s son, Daemin. I’m looking for him while Jaemin has work meeting.” Jeno explained, his head on top of Daemin’s, the kid sitting on his lap and slurping on a carton of strawberry milk.

Through the screen, Yerim wriggled his eyebrows at him. Jeno wanted to show her his middle finger but there was a kid in the room so he settled for glaring at his twin instead.

“Anyway, mom asked what day you were landing in Seoul?” Yerim changed the subject.

“Tell her I should be here one or two day before Christmas Eve.”

  
  


Jaemin came to fetch Daemin an hour and a half later. The kid was sleepily rubbing at his eyes and yawned widely. Jaemin giggled upon seeing this.

“Did you give Jeno a hard time?” he asked jokingly. Daemin shook his head no and hid it further in his father’s neck.

“He already ate with me.” Jeno informed the other, giving him Daemin’s little Spider-Man backpack.

“Thank you.”

And Jeno understood it wasn’t only because he fed Daemin tonight. He looked at Jaemin, gaze fixed on his brown eyes. Jaemin was looking at him too, his eyes shining in the night sky.

They didn’t say anything. Jeno felt awkward.

“Hum… I’m getting back to Seoul during the holidays -” they both said at the same time.

They looked at each other with wide eyes before laughing. It’s Jaemin who talked again, first.

“I just wanted to say that I found the caterer. I was going to offer to taste it myself, but since you’re going back… We might as well go together?” he suggested.

Jeno smiled.

“Well, I was going to say that I could have gone myself but… Sounds good to me.” he accepted.

Jaemin smiled back.

  
  
  
  


(“He just totally asked you on a date.” Yerim told him when he got back from outside.

“We’re going to taste the food for your fucking wedding. What the fuck?”

“Keep lying to yourself. You’ll thank me for giving you my wedding preparations, one day.”

“Sure, sure.” Jeno rolled his eyes.)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jeno babysitting Daemin happened several other times. On some Fridays, Jaemin would always sheepishly ask him if he was okay to watch after the three-year-old for a few hours because he had to attend another work meeting.

Jeno never said no. Nor never did he ask why Jaemin wasn’t asking someone else to babysit Daemin. Actually, bringing Daemin home was times he really expected but mostly enjoyed. The kid was bringing some kind of life to his boring apartment. He loved playing with the cat and Oreo was clinging more onto Daemin than he ever did to Jeno. Jeno sometimes felt betrayed.

Daemin also loved Yerim and was always asking him when his twin sister would call so he could brag about what he did during the day. Yerim would always send Jeno suggestive looks when she noticed him looking at Daemin with what she called “heart eyes”, and adding a “I’m pretty sure you’re watching his dad the same way” every time he would give Daemin back to Jaemin.

Jeno would always answer with a “It’s not like that”.

And it really wasn’t.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


December 22, it was the day Jeno went to the airport, ready to go back to Seoul, as he was doing every year.

Thanking the boarding lady, he grabbed back his ticket she was holding out to him and made his way in the plane main aisle. He checked the seats numbers until he found his. He sat in his seat without looking at the persons next to him. It’s only when he heard a little gasp that he turned his head on the right.

His eyes widened.

“Nono!” Daemin squealed.

Jeno’s smile stretched across his face and he ruffled the kid’s hair, seated in the middle seat, looking behind him to be meet with Jaemin’s face. Jaemin smiled back with his usual sparkling eyes and dashing smile.

“What are you doing here?” Jeno asked, feeling way too excited.

“The same thing as you.” Jaemin answered, obviously. “We’re going back to Seoul for the holidays.”

“Are you going to see Yerim-noona?” Daemin asked, biting on his tiny nails. Jaemin softly ushered him to not do it, pulling his hands away from his mouth.

“Yes, I’m going to see Yerim.” Jeno nodded.

“With papa, we’re going to see grandma and grandpa!” Daemin explained, excitement gleaming in his eyes. “Oh, and uncle Jisung!”

Jeno gently pinched the little boy’s cheek before looking back at Jaemin. Seeing him, the planner’s smile turned into a grin.

“Are you ready to taste tons of food?” he asked Jeno.

Ignoring the sensations bubbling inside his stomach, Jeno grinned back.

“I was born ready.”

And if after around three hours of flight, Daemin fell asleep against his father’s side, with Jaemin’s left arm around him and Jeno’s hand tightly clasped in his tinier one, which made both Jeno’s and Jaemin’s hands brushed, both adults didn’t make a move to avoid it. Even if a bright red color made its way on their cheeks.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s Renjun who fetched Jeno at the airport. He was already waiting for him when they landed. Jeno waited with Jaemin and Daemin to catch their luggage before the three of them made their way towards the exit.

And oh, how Jeno hated the look Renjun had on his face, right now.

The chinese male wriggled his eyebrows when he met Jeno’s gaze. Jeno could only glare. When Jaemin noticed Renjun though, his eyes widened but a smile shined on his face.

“Injunnie!” he said with a high-pitched voice.

“Don’t you even dare-” Renjun started before Jaemin launched himself on him, making the smaller male lose his balance.

Jeno snorted at the view. He felt Daemin hiding himself behind his legs, gripping on his pants. Jeno looked down at him, brushing his hands in the black strands. Daemin looked up at him and mouthed a “who’s that?”, pointing to Renjun.

“It’s Renjun, he’s my best friend. And he’s Yerim's lover. They are getting married soon.” Jeno explain.

“He’s papa’s friend?” Daemin asked.

“Seems like it.” Jeno shrugged, watching Jaemin and Renjun bickering.

“Thank you for helping Jeno with the wedding.” he heard Renjun say. “He’s hopeless.”

“Hey!”

“It’s my job.” Jaemin laughed. He quickly glanced at Jeno and looked at Renjun again, smile on his face. “And he’s not hopeless. He just needs a bit of help.” he winked.

  


(“So, you and Jaemin are friends?” Jeno asked his best friend during the car ride, sipping on his coffee.

“Yeah, from college.” Renjun answered. “So, did you two fuck already?”

“NO!” Jeno choked on his coffee. “Oh my god, not you too.”

Renjun had the audacity to laugh.)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


During the Christmas dinner, Yerim and Renjun stood up right before the traditional Yule log. His twin sister had her hands on her growing womb, and Renjun had an arm around her waist. Jeno looked at them, half curious and half worried.

“We discovered the baby’s gender a few days ago during the last ultrasound scan.” Renjun started.

Jeno put his fork down and tried to not shake too much from excitation on his chair. Their parents were looking at the couple, expectantly.

After what seemed to be hours, Yerim finally dropped the bomb.

“It’s a girl.”

Jeno swore he screamed before rushing to his sister and hugging her tightly (not too tight though) and lifting her off the ground to make them spin. Both having big smiles on their faces. His parents were congratulating Renjun, putting him in bear hugs.

When Jeno put his twin on the ground again, she put her hands on his cheeks and squished them, making him look like some fish. She looked at him seriously and Jeno was suddenly scared about what she was going to say.

“We wanted you to be her godfather.” Yerim announced.

He engulfed her in a hug again, but this time, with teary eyes.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Two days later, Jeno met Jaemin.

They met in front of the caterer shop, in the center of Seoul. Jaemin already waiting for him in front of it. Jeno noticed that Daemin wasn’t with him this time. And Jaemin must have noticed his confusion as well because he giggled.

“My mom offered to look after him.” he explained. “He threw a tantrum though, he wanted to taste the food. And see you.”

Jeno couldn’t help but noticed how fond Jaemin sounded when speaking about Daemin. He couldn’t blame him, the kid was too lovely to not love him.

“He wouldn’t have bother me, though.”

“I’m sure of that.” Jaemin smiled. “But I thought it would be easier if he wasn’t screaming to taste everything.” he added, laughing.

Jeno rolled his eyes, playfully. But Jaemin had a point.

Jaemin held the door for him and they both made their way inside.

And Jeno wonder, if Jaemin looking pointedly at him whenever they tasted something, or putting a hand on his lower back was all on purpose.

But his breath hitched every time.

  
  


(“Don’t misunderstand me, I love Daemin, he’s my whole word. But being alone is refreshing sometimes. I feel like I don’t need to run everywhere.” Jaemin stated when they were making their way out.

Jeno looked at him, curiously with a raised eyebrow. What was that supposed to mean?

“What do you mean?” he finally asked.

“I would like to spend more time with you, Jeno. And not just because you’re looking out for Daemin.” Jaemin admitted, looking directly in Jeno’s eyes.

Jeno felt like he couldn’t breath.)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Back in New York, getting back to work tomorrow and a week after the New Year, Jeno was lying on his bed, reflecting on what had happened during the last weeks.

Too much.

It’s his phone ringing that broke him out off his spaceout.

Jaemin was calling him.

His breath hitched and he could feel his heart rate increasing.

“It’s not like that.” he thought to himself before answering the call.

“Hello?” he said.

“Nono?” he heard Daemin tiny voice on the other side.

“Hey, buddy. What’s up?”

“I’m scared.” the kid mumbled.

Jeno immediately panicked.

“Where’s your dad, Daemin? Is he with you?”

“Papa is in the shower, he doesn’t know I’m calling you.” the three-year old explained.

“What are you scared of?”

“I don’t want to go to school tomorrow.”

Oh, right. Daemin was starting kindergarten tomorrow. Jeno exhaled, stress leaving his body.

Jeno settled more comfortably on his bed, ready to listen to the kid’s worries.

“Why don’t you want to go to school tomorrow, baby?” he asked.

“Because you won’t be there.” Daemin whined. “I won’t see you all day, you won’t take care of me anymore.” he was sniffling now.

“Hey, sweetheart. Listen to me, okay?” when Daemin hummed, he continued. “It’s going to be okay. School is scary, I know. But that means you’re a big boy now. And big boys go to school. And you know what? We will see each other during the afternoon, you’ll be staying at the center until papa comes fetch you in the evening. Everything will be alright, okay?”

“Okay.” Daemin mumbled.

“So, don’t be scared okay? You’ll see, you’ll make lots of friends.”

They talked a little more, Daemin sharing his worries and Jeno reassuring him.

“Papa is coming back from the shower, I need to go!” Daemin rapidly said. “I love you, Nono! Bye-bye!”

“Love you too, kiddo.” Jeno said and before Daemin could hang up, he added. “Say hi to your dad for me, will you?”

“I will!” and he hang up.

Jeno fell asleep with a grin on his face.

  
  


(“Thank you for answering Daemin’s call yesterday.” was the first thing Jaemin told him the next day, when he came to fetch Daemin at the end of his work day.

Jeno looked at Jaemin and lost himself in his brown eyes.)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


March.

Jeno and Jaemin were still seeing each other concerning the wedding preparations. But they were also seeing each other more and more concerning Daemin. Indeed, it wasn’t rare that Jeno would find himself at Jaemin’s home, or the other way around. They’ll eat dinner and Daemin would always ask to watch a movie before Jeno (or him and Jaemin) had to go home. He’ll always seat in the middle of the two adults and fall asleep at half of the movie under their fond look.

Those evenings also meant hitched breaths, beating hearts and blushed cheeks.

And sometimes, Jeno even felt like he couldn’t breath.

And that was scaring him.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


A few days after mid March, Jeno received a call from a panicked Renjun.

“Jun? Everything okay?” Jeno asked, worried.

“Your sister is in labor.” his best friend panicked voice answered him.

Oh my god.

“I-”

“She knows.” Renjun cut him off, seeming more calm now. “So, don’t worry about that, come when you can. We understand.”

Jeno wanted to cry. He thanked Renjun and hung up.

He went back to the play area, heart heavy and putting on a fake smile.

When Jaemin came into view, even his sight could make Jeno’s mood lift. The other’s eyebrows frowned. Even Daemin was looking at both adults, not really understanding but he noticed how Jeno was out of it during the day.

Jaemin looked carefully at the tattooed male.

“Something wrong?” he asked, quietly.

Jeno felt tears well up in his eyes again, so he kept his eyes cast down. Jaemin’s heart broke.

“Hey,” he came closer to Jeno, putting an hand on his shoulder and squeezing it gently. “Do you want to get dinner with us tonight, maybe it’s better rather than being alone.”

Jeno seriously wanted to tell him that it was a bad idea but his heart immediately softened when he felt Daemin’s arms circling his legs.

“Papa is right, Nono! Don’t stay alone if you are sad!”

Jeno smiled at that, swallowed back the lump in his throat and finally looked at Jaemin, eyes glassy, but he smiled nonetheless. Jaemin’s hand travelled from his shoulder to his neck and the planner send him back his smile.

And Jeno’s heart felt a little lighter.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


When Jeno got back home, his phone rang, it was Jaemin. Jeno answered with a smile on his face.

“Miss me already?” he said, playfully.

“What if I do?” Jaemin said, tone serious.

The black-haired felt a blush coming to his cheeks and he was glad the other couldn’t see him right now.

“Are you feeling better?” Jaemin asked, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, thank you.” Jeno answered, grateful. “And I’m sorry, I won’t be able to watch after Daemin -”

“Hey, no need to apologize, I understand.”

They both stayed silent a few seconds before he heard Jaemin clear his throat.

“So, you’re coming back for the Easter holidays? 

“Yes, I’ll do it like that. Why?”

He heard Jaemin take a deep breath.

“Do you want to go out with me one day, during the holidays?” he blurted out.

Jeno stopped dead in his tracks, glass of water halfway from his lips.

“A-As in -”

“As in a date.”

Jeno froze, heart beating way too fast and mind racing. Was it a good idea? What about Daemin?

Jaemin cleared his throat awkwardly.

“It’s okay if -”

“Yes.”

“What?” Jaemin said, after a moment.

“Yes.” Jeno repeated, voice strong. “I’ll go out with you.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Look who is here?” Yerim cooed, tickling lightly the baby’s stomach when Jeno approached her.

Yerim has been discharged and was now resting home with the little princess. And Jeno would stay with them for two weeks.

When he reached them, he kissed his sister forehead, congratulating her before looking at the little baby in her arms. Yerim looked at him fondly.

“Do you want to hold her?” she asked and Jeno nodded vigorously.

He carefully took the baby in his arms, rocking her gently. He observed her face, cooing at it and he looked at his twin again.

“What’s her name?” he asked.

“Jae Eun.”

“Jae Eun.” Jeno tasted the name. He looked at his goddaughter again, and when she opened her eyes, he added. “A great name for a beautiful girl.”  


(“He’s completely gaga of her, I feel left out, really.” Renjun huffed, seated in the couch next to Yerim.

The woman put her head on his shoulder and snorted.

“Can you really blame him, though?” she asked, looking at Jeno who was on his stomach on a blanket, kissing on repeat the baby’s cheeks and neck, and blowing raspberries there and there and making the baby bawl happily. When Jae Eun turned her head and her opened mouth met Jeno’s lips, Yerim melted.

“I’ll be glad when he’ll actually date Jaemin for real, he’s literally stealing my daughter.”

“We all know you are both going to spoil her no matter what.” Yerim rolled her eyes.)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


After spending two weeks with Yerim and Jae Eun, Renjun almost threw Jeno in his plane back to New York City with a kick in the ass.

Going back home was tiring, keeping up with a jet lag was tiring. But when Jeno opened the door to find a casually but handsome dressed Jaemin, smiling at him as if he was the eighth Wonder, he’s never feel more awake.

And if he wasn’t, Jaemin taking his hand in his and sending a wave of electricity through his body definitely did.

After almost five minutes fighting about which horror movie they would watch, they finally settled on _Pet Sematary_ and entered in the cinema.

“I’ll go and grab some popcorn.” Jeno told Jaemin before the other could stop him. The black-haired smirked and slowly untangled his hand from Jaemin’s to go to the sweet counter.

He waited for the family in front of him to leave to place his order, politely smiling at the lady behind the cashier.

“One extra large popcorn, please.”

He placed his order mechanically, not realizing he wasn’t with Yerim. It’s only when the lady handed him the big popcorn bucket that his eyes widened.

And Jaemin was coming his way.

So, he simply paid, thanking the lady and meeting the honey-haired halfway. Jaemin eyes the popcorn bucket amusedly.

“Are you doing to eat all of that on your own?” he joked.

“It’s for both of us.” Jeno mumbled.

Jaemin giggled next to him and casually placed an arm on his shoulders, leading him into their movie room.

Their hands brushed whenever they were taking popcorn from the bucket, making Jeno blush and he’s pretty sure Jaemin was too.

During one particular scary scene, they jumped out of fear, making the bucket jumped in the air and popcorn flying everywhere around them and on the people in front of them.

And if Jaemin’s hand ended on Jeno’s thighs, the black haired fingers loosely intertwined with the other’s, squeezing them from time to time from fear, they didn’t move an inch.

God, he really felt like a teenager again.

  


(“That wasn’t scary at all. Peace of cake.” Jaemin announced when they got out, his body still shaking and hand tightly grabbing Jeno’s.

Jeno rolled his eyes, amused and fond.)

  


It’s Jeno this time who proposed to take a drink somewhere.

And from him to us: he didn’t want to leave Jaemin yet.

So, at almost eleven in the evening, they sat in a pretty chill bar/café in town, cocktails in hand, talking about nothing and everything.

At some point, Jaemin started to talk about Daemin. Then, Jeno was talking about Jae Eun. Then, Jaemin about Jisung. And on and on. Not counting how many drinks they had. Both feeling way too happy to care.

They weren’t drunk. Well, Jeno knew he wasn’t. And he’s sure Jaemin wasn’t either. But they were both equally tipsy.

Jaemin’s gaze was lost, somewhere Jeno couldn’t reach. So, trying to get him back, Jeno put an hand on Jaemin’s one, laying on the table in the middle of them. That jerked Jaemin of the reality he was in to make him look at Jeno. The tattooed male smiled at him.

“I don’t know where you were just now, but definitely not with me.” he said, but he wasn’t annoyed.

Jaemin chuckled, wiggling his fingers with the other’s before looking right at him.

“I was in the past. Kind of.”

“What do you mean?”

“Did I ever tell you about Daemin’s mom?” Jaemin asked, very serious.

Jeno shook his head no. And when Jaemin sighed loudly, he rubbed his thumb on Jaemin’s hand.

“What about it?” he carefully asked.

“It’s because of her I’m a wedding planner.” Jaemin just said, but he wasn’t looking at Jeno.

Jeno wanted to let him continue at his pace but when the other didn’t say anything, he cleared his throat.

“Why?”

“Because…” this time, he looked at Jeno. ”We got married. Early, yes. But that was…” he smiled sadly. “That was the best day of my life. Really.”

Jeno swallowed the lump in his throat, slowly untangling his fingers from Jaemin to cross his arms instead.

“Where is she now?” he asked, voice so tiny he wasn’t sure Jaemin heard him.

“She’s dead.” Jaemin said.

That made Jeno lift his head up to look at him. Jaemin had a sad gaze, a small and sad smile grazing his lips.

“She died giving birth.” he explained. “Daemin never knew her.”

Jaemin was married before? His late wife died giving birth to Daemin?

Falling from the tenth floor of a building would have hurt Jeno less than what he just learnt.

Where could he stand in front of that? Who was he in comparison?

Jaemin had his gaze lost again, but this time on Jeno’s tattooed arm, watching it move as the black-haired took a sip of his beer. Jeno caught his gaze but he gulped down the rest of his beer, asking for another one.

“What do they mean?” the honey-haired asked.

“Excuse me?” Jeno said, taking a first sip of his new beer.

Jaemin pointed at the game cards and dice tattoos on Jeno’s arm.

Oh.

Jeno set down his beer and looked at his arm.

“Well, pretty simple.” he pointed to the cards with his index fingers. “Life is a game. You have the cards in your hands. You have the cards to make you happy. Play to build your life. Play to keep on with your life. Play your life.” Jeno explained.

“Why the ‘Good Luck’ over it?”

“Because in a game, only luck can make you win. Life is one lucky game.”

Jaemin nodded, seemingly trying to understand what Jeno just said to him.

“And the rose on your hand?” he asked, pointing to the tattoo.

“Love.”Jeno said, looking at Jaemin.

“For who?” the honey haired asked one more time, almost as if he was testing Jeno.

“My family. My friend. People I care about. People I loved…. People I love today.”

Jaemin smiled but this time, it was a soft one, and he nodded in understanding.

“Duality.” he finally whispered, taking a sip of his own beer.

Jeno laughed.

  


They made their way out not so long after, walking clumsily and leaning on each other for support. Jaemin suggest they crashed to his house since it was the closer one. And Daemin was sleeping at one of his friend’s house anyway.

On a normal state, Jaemin’s house was a five minutes walk from where they were, but considering their almost drunk one, it took them more than fifteen minutes to reach Jaemin’s house. Jeno stopped more than once to pet every stray cats he was meeting and Jaemin found him way too cute to urge him to hurry.

When they _finally_ entered Jaemin’s house after the honey-haired almost spent three whole minutes fiddling with his keys, they both looked at each other.

And before Jeno could let any rational entity stop him, he reached for Jaemin’s collar at the same time the other pulled him closer by the hips to kiss him fervently.

There was nothing sweet in the kiss, it was sloppy, more teeth and tongue than anything. It was bestial, brutal. It was hungry. It was full of tension. A tension they could finally release thanks to it.

Their hands were roaming on each other as Jaemin expertedly made his way into the house and to his bedroom. Thank god, there were no stairs. On the way, their shirts got rid off and threw somewhere on the floor. They reached Jaemin’s bedroom and the honey-haired flew the door open with his foot, hands grazing over Jeno’s torso as the black-haired hands were already reaching Jaemin’s belt.

Jeno closed the door with his foot as well and pushed Jaemin on the mattress, hovering over him and sucking on his neck as Jaemin’s hand was getting under his pant after opening it. Jeno’s tattooed hand got rid of Jaemin’s belt as he was lifting his head to kiss him again. The other pulled his pant down and Jeno wriggled his legs to fully get rid of it. Jaemin bit Jeno’s bottom lip, a hungry gleam in his eyes and he made them roll over. He stood up, got rid of his pants as well, leaving his briefs on, a heavy bulge clearly visible. At the view, Jeno smirked at Jaemin. The other simply mirrored his smirk and bent down again, kissing on Jeno’s neck and getting lower, on his chest, then his lower stomach, closer and closer to his brief elastic waistband, making Jeno’s back arch as his breath hitched.

Jaemin pulled the boxer down, slowly. _Too_ slowly for Jeno’s liking. So, when Jaemin finally, _finally_ put his lips _here_ , Jeno moaned way too loudly.

Before everything could end too fast, Jeno brought him up, kissing him fully on the lips, their tongues dancing right away with each other and only pulling back when they couldn’t breath anymore. They were both panting, they could feel each other breathes on their face, their hair strands sticking on their foreheads because of the heat of their bodies and the room.

They looked at each other. Jaemin’s eyes were luxury, gleaming with an unresolved tension, but there was something else. And it’s him who bent down again to kiss Jeno. This time though, it was slower, less sloppy. It was tender.

Jeno brought him closer, pulling on his hips, which made their hardening touch. They both breathily moaned at this. Jeno tightely gripped at Jaemin’s hips, strong enough to leave marks.

“Stop teasing.” Jeno hissed.

“I’m not teasing.” Jaemin had a shit-eating grin on his face. As an answer, Jeno pushed his hips up, earning a moaned from the other. “Who’s teasing, now?” Jaemin said and got rid of his boxer quickly and came back on top of Jeno, his hand caressing the half laurel wreath tattoo on Jeno’s left hip with the tips of his fingers, making Jeno’s skin shiver. His hand then travelled to Jeno’s inner thigh and he bent down again and kissed him, the black-haired wrapping his arms around his neck when Jaemin’s hands travelled even lower.

 

When they both came in a last moan, Jaemin collapsed on Jeno, his head in the crook of his neck and his lips leaving butterfly kisses on the skin here. Jeno made them roll on the side, Jaemin’s arms wrapped around his waist as they were both trying to catch back their breath.

His head resting on Jaemin’s sweaty hair, one thought was lighting up in Jeno’s brain.

He just had sex with Jaemin.

Could he find himself to regret it, though?

Absolutely not.

And that was what was not right.

  


(At the crack of dawn, Jeno untangled himself from Jaemin, leaving the other’s warm and sweet scent to get dressed, or more like with the clothes he could find.

He just had to find his shirt. But, before leaving the bedroom, he looked at Jaemin one last time. He left before he could do something he could regret later.

When Jaemin woke up a few hours later, it was to an empty bed.

No trace of Jeno.

With a pretty much hurting head, he got up and grabbed his boxer on the floor. He then made his way to the kitchen.

He noticed Jeno’s clothes were gone.

Entering the kitchen, he spotted a note on the counter, he hurried to read it.

_We were drunk last night. We shouldn’t have done that._

_It was a mistake. I’m sorry, forget it._

_I’m_ so _sorry._

__\- Jeno_ _

 

After his reading, Jaemin crumbled the little note in his hand and swallowed the lump in his throat before making his way to the bathroom, not letting the tears fall until he locked the door.)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jeno and Jaemin didn’t meet since their date during the second and last week of the Easter holidays. It was now late April, and the wedding was getting close. Jaemin and Jeno had everything planned since a few months prior, they only needed to be on site a few days before the wedding to control everything one last time. The wedding was foreseen for mid May, so that let them more of less three weeks.

Jeno was starting work again today, and he was anticipating one thing: seeing Jaemin again.

Jeno shook the thought out of his mind. What they did was not okay. They were drunk, it never should have happened. He knew it was wrong.

That didn’t stop his heart from aching every time he would think about it, though.

No. It was wrong.

Jaemin had built a life before. Jaemin has a son. Jaemin had a wife. Jaemin is a widow.

Jeno couldn’t just step in it.

He _won’t_ step in it.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Keeping telling himself this was maybe the hardest when Jeno was seeing Daemin. Daemin reminded him so much of Jaemin. He was the spitting image of his father. And they were so alike it sometimes terrified him.

Daemin knew something was wrong. And Jeno noticed it. Because, on usual, Daemin would ramble about what he did with his dad during the weekends or during the holidays. But today, nothing. The kid was simply playing with the firefighter toys, silently.

Jeno disgusted himself.

“Hey, sweetheart.” the black-haired said, kneeling next to him. Daemin looked up at him, gaze indecipherable. “Are you okay?”

Daemin didn’t answer. Instead, he casted his head down, mumbling a “papa is sad. So, Daemin is sad too.”. And at the gesture and the mumbled words, Jeno’s heart ached. He properly sat on the foam carpet, putting his hands on Daemin’s little arms to turn him towards him. Daemin looked at him, a sad pout on his face.

Jeno tried a smile.

“You know that I care a lot about you, right?” Jeno felt so selfish to ask that to the kid. It was the consequences of his own actions that were leading them to this. When Daemin nodded, he went on. “And you know I care a lot about your papa?” Daemin nodded again. “Sometimes, adults are not agreeing on the same things. And sometimes, they can get sad because of it. But that doesn’t mean they are not friends anymore.”

Jeno casted his head down, swallowing back his tears by biting on his bottom lip. He looked up at Daemin again after a few seconds, but tears were still welling up in his eyes.

“So, when your papa will come to fetch you, you will hug him very tight, and tell him you love him… Okay?”

“Can I hug Nono, too?”

Jeno nodded his head, not trusting his voice. The three-year-old launched himself on him, encircling is neck with his arms, tightly. He rested his head on Jeno’s shoulder. Jeno hugged him just as tight, his arms around the little’s frame, blinking to keep his tears in. But when Daemin whispered in his ear, he couldn’t stop them.

“I love you, Nono.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The evening came way too fast.

Most of the kids were already gone, only a few were left. When Jaemin came into view, Daemin gave Jeno one last hug. Before he could run to his father, Jeno held him back.

“Remember what I told you?” he asked.

“Yes!” Daemin said, with his usual smile.

Jeno smiled back and got up, accompanying him to Jaemin. The other had a shut face, displaying no emotions. And Jeno knew he was the cause of it. Only a small smile grazed his face when Daemin came running to him. He lifted the kid in his arms and the three-year-old took advantage of it to wrap his arms around his father’s neck. When a soft and fond smile enlightened Jaemin’s face, Jeno knew too well what Daemin must have told him.

Then, Jaemin looked at Jeno, but his smile had disappear, much like Jeno’s own. They were looking at each other, no one was saying anything and suddenly, Jeno got flashback from _this_ particular night. And when he heard Jaemin muterrig a “let’s go, baby” to Daemin, Jeno knew he had to act up.

But to say what?

Jaemin was already away.

“Jaemin!” Jeno called him.

The honey-haired stopped. And after a few seconds standing still, he turned around, Daemin still in his arms. Jeno gulped.

“I’m sorry…” he whispered, he wasn’t even sure Jaemin heard him. “I’m sorry, Jaemin. I really am…” He said, a bit louder.

Jaemin just answered with a “see you, Jeno.”

 

(“Nono, are you coming to babysit me on Friday evening?” Daemin asked him, the day after.

“I don’t know, baby.” he smiled, apologetically to the toddler.

Jaemin never asked Jeno to babysit Daemin on Friday.

He deserved it.)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


One week and a half before the wedding, Jeno broke down.

He asked for a rest week more, he would catch up with it in replacement of of his co-worker.

It’s Yerim who fetch him up at the airport, and he could have broken down right there but he didn’t want to make a scene. Yerim knew something was wrong, he could see it on her face. Yerim wasn’t really a touchy person, but she kept his hand clasped in hers for the whole ride.

They reached Yerim and Renjun’s house after what seemed like the longest ride of Jeno’s life. Renjun went out of with his co-worker to give them some intimacy, and their parents were babysitting Jae Eun.

Once Yerim closed the door of the bedroom and she sat next to him on the bed, Jeno let the tears flow like a river. His twin sister immediately cradled him in her arms and they laid on the mattress, Jeno sobbing into his sister’s neck and Yerim patting his back and muttering sweet nothings into his ear.

“I fucked up so bad.” were the only words Jeno managed to utter that night.  


(“Is he okay?” Renjun whispered to Yerim, watching Jeno sleeping form. The black-haired had spent most of his night crying and sobbing, only falling asleep from exhaustion. Renjun had fetched Jae Eun on his way back home and Yerim thought putting her back to sleep next to her twin would be a good idea.

And Renjun had to admit, the picture was cute.

But he was still worried, seeing his best friend in this state.

“He will be.” Yerim whispered back.)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jeno woke up a few hours later to little babblings next to him. He yawned and rubbed his eyes sleepily before turning his head to the side. A fond smile made its way to his face when he noticed Jae Eun happily smiling face. When the baby saw he was looking at her, she wriggler her legs and arms in the air while burbling.

Jeno turned on his stomach to properly look at the baby next to him.

“Hey, you.” he mumbled and kissed her cheek.

Jae Eun placed a little hands on his cheeks and continued to burble. Jeno giggled at that and went on with whatever story she was telling him. He presented his index finger to her and she grabbed it tight with her hand.

“What do you think about going to see where your parents are?” when she barbled in response, he nodded. “I thought so. I’m hungry too.”

Jeno stood up and carefully picked the baby in his arm, Jae Eun little head carefully resting near his neck with one of his hand supporting it. He kissed her head softly and made his way out of the room.

Yerim and Renjun were in the living room, watching some drama in the living room. Hearing noise, they both turned around. Renjun beamed when he saw his daughter was awake as well while Yerim sent him his big sister smile. Jeno offered them a tiny smile and handed Jae Eun to Renjun. His best friend gave him a worried glance but Jeno nodded his head. Renjun didn’t seem satisfied but brought Jae Eun to the nurse room to get her clean anyway.

Yerim got up and guided her twin to the kitchen, where a full plate of toast was settled down on the table.

“Eat this.” Yerim told him and she pointed a finger to his face. “And then, we’ll talk.”

Jeno wasn’t that hungry anymore, now.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Renjun was out with Ji Eun, pretexting Yerim was better than him to handle that kind of talk, and that Jeno needed her more than him right now, anyway. And she probably knew him way better than him.

He still hugged Jeno nonetheless before leaving. Tight.

In years of friendship, it was the second time Renjun willingly hugged him.

“It’s going to settle down, okay?” the chinese male whispered in Jeno’s ear, tightening his grip.

Jeno nodded, almost imperceptible, but Renjun felt it thanks to the black-haired face hidden in his neck.

“I love you, always remember that.” Renjun whispered again and let go, smiling one last time at his best friend. He kissed Yerim’s forehead and made his way out with Jae Eun who was in a baby car seat.

Once the door closed behind Renjun, Yerim turned to Jeno. One look and they both made their way to the living room, sitting on the couch, facing each other. She took Jeno’s tattooed hand in her own and waited for him to speak.

“I went on a date with Jaemin during the holidays.” Jeno started, after a few minutes.

Usually, Yerim would have squealed and asked him for details, but she knew better. Mostly after what she saw yesterday.

“We went to the cinema and to a bar after.” Jeno recalled with a smile. “We went back to his house after. We were, like, really tipsy.” He then squeezed his twin’s hand unconsciously.

“What happened at Jaemin’s house?” Yerim asked, brushing her thumbs over her brother’s knuckles.

“We slept together. We had sex.” he said, fiddling with their fingers.

“And what happened after?” she asked, carefully.

Jeno lifted his head to look at her. Tears had started to well-up in his eyes but they hadn’t fall yet.

“I left in the morning. Like a thief in the night. Like a coward.” Jeno croaked out. Now, the first tears started to fall but Yerim’s thumb wiped them away. “I left like a coward, Yerim.”

“Why did you leave?”

“Because I’m scared.” Jeno whispered, more and more tears falling.

“What are you scared of?” Yerim asked, moving closer to him and cupping his cheek with her free hand. “Jaemin is not Siwoo, Jeno.”

At the mention of his ex fiancé, a shiver went down Jeno’s spine.

“I know.” Jeno finally managed to say. “That’s not a Siwoo-repeat-scenario I’m afraid of.”

Siwoo was probably the biggest mistake of Jeno’s life. But on another side, he was one of the best thing that could have happen to him. Siwoo’s cheated on him while they were engaged, maybe they were too young, bu that was what built Jeno up. It’s him who made Jeno chose to leave, to start something new somewhere else. If Siwoo’s cheating never happened, who knows what Jeno would be doing today.

“When you asked me to take on your wedding preparations, it was the biggest joke you could have made to me. Yeah, since Siwoo I can’t see weddings the same way, for me it’s just a bitter feeling. And we didn’t even said our vows. So, yeah, preparing your wedding wasn’t really something I was all up for.” Jeno admitted, looking right at Yerim. “But there’s good in the bad, I guess. Because without this, I would have probably never meet Jaemin. So I guess I owe you a thank you, nonetheless.”

They both chuckled at that.

“But…” Jeno’s smile died down. “I can’t. I can’t be with him.”

Yerim furrowed her eyebrows. She didn’t understand. But Jeno sounded so _broken_.

“Why?” she simply asked.

“He was married before.” Jeno dropped out. “He had a wife. She died giving birth to Daemin.”

“What do you feel for Jaemin?”

Tears started to fall down again. There were more this time, and Yeri’s thumbs couldn’t erase them all, so she just pulled Jeno’s head to make it rest in the crook of her neck instead, letting him cry freely.

“I love his son. I like him. Hell, I love him even. I want to be with him. With them. I want to be part of this.” Jeno sobbed, wetting his twin sister’s shirt, but she didn’t care about that.

“Then why are you punishing yourself if you both want this?” Yerim asked softly, petting his hair and back.

“I can’t be part of a life that has already been built.” was Jeno’s answer.

“You both had a life before that, Jeno. This, it’s a new beginning. For both of you.” she said and pulled his face up, wiping the last stray of tears and looking right in his red and puffy eyes. “Give it a chance. Don’t let it go to waste. Because that will hurt you even more.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Wedding day. Today was the day.

His sister and his best friend were getting married.

They were at the church, the priest was reciting some texts Jeno wasn’t really paying attention to, more focused to search for a certain honey-haired in the crowd. He was on the side, being Renjun’s bestman and had a full view of the assembly. He spotted their parents, their mother holding a sleeping Jae Eun in her arms. He spotted Renjun’s family and friends as well.

But not Jaemin.

It made him furrow his eyebrows. The planner was supposed to be here, right?

But when the priest asked for the rings, Jeno saw movements in the right aisle, not far from where his parents where. And then, his eyes widened.

Walking on the main hallway, the rings on a white cushion, was Daemin. Lifting his eyes up to look behind the kid, Jeno finally saw him.

Jaemin.

Like him, he was dressed in a black and white suit, his hair styled like usual, if not even more beautiful. He was breathtaking.

Jeno’s heart was doing summersaults.

Their eyes met, and if Jeno’s own became teary, Jaemin’s widened. But Jeno could also see them shining.

They had to cut their eye contact because Daemin was giving the rings and Yerim and Renjun were exchanging their vows. When they both had the ring on, Daemin came next to Jeno, way too happy for Jeno not to smile back, putting a hand on his shoulder to keep him close to him.

When both a teary eyes Renjun and a crying Yerim said “I do” and the priest allowed them to kiss, the whole assembly erupted in cheers and clapped.

Jeno laughed at Daemin who was clapping big claps with his arms wide open. Jaemin came to them a few seconds later, a bright smile on his face, but when he reached them, it faltered a little. Jeno cleared his throat, unsure of what to say. But before he could even utter a word, he was pulled outside by his mother.

“Come on Jeno, we need to wait for them outside.” she said, pulling on his suit jacket. Before he was too far away, though he looked back at Jaemin.

“I’ll see you at the reception?” Jeno asked him, and it came way more hopeful than he intended too.

But Jaemin smiled softly at him.

“I’ll see you there.” Jaemin approved.

And Jeno knew.

Just like Renjun told him.

It was going to be okay.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jeno rode with his parents to the reception spot. It was in a little park, in Seoul, there was a function room only two meters away, and it’s where they would spend most of their day and stay in later in the evening. They were the first ones to arrive, Jeno’s mother way too stressed out about everything being perfect that she probably drove way faster than allowed.

Renjun and Yerim wouldn’t be here before long minutes so Jeno took the opportunity to put Jae Eun in one of the baby bed they installed upstairs. She wouldn’t wake up before a few hours anyway. She was all Yerim on this point.

When Jeno came back downstairs, half of the guests were already here. Jaemin was here too and making a last minute check to see if everything was in order. Jeno could only watch him from afar, family members coming to greet him and the photographs already starting to take pictures of them. When he was finally done and Jeno excused himself to leave, he was stopped by Chenle, Renjun’s little cousin, launching himself at him. The ten-year-old laugh filling the air when Jeno started to tickle him.

“The tickle monster is going to eat you!” Jeno roared while Chenle had a hard time breathing.

“No, uncle Jeno! P-please let me go.” Chenle squeaked.

Taking pity on him, Jeno released him but not without ruffling his hair.

“Watch out for the youngers, yeah? I believe in you.”

Chenle nodded and ran away outside to play with the other kids.

When Jeno started to look for Jaemin again, Yerim and Renjun arrived. So, instead, he made his way to his sister and now brother-in-law and hugged them both at the same time, trying to keep his tears at bay.

“Congratulations. I’m _so_ happy for you both.” he whispered in their ears.

When they parted, Yerim put a big sloppy kiss on his cheek, like how they were doing when they were younger, while Renjun squeezed his shoulder. Jeno pointed a finger at him.

“If you ever hurt her, consider yourself a dead man.” he threatened.

“No worries on that.”

And, for the third time, Renjun pulled him in a hug. Jeno heard Yerim howling for the photographs to take pictures. They teared apart and Jeno clapped Renjun’s shoulder with a last smile and made room for other people to congratulate the newlyweds. His mother couldn’t keep her tears from falling. His father was crying too, silently and he quickly wiped them when he thought no one was looking. Renjun’s parents were openly crying, not even trying to hide themselves nor wipe their tears away. They engulfed Renjun and Yerim in hugs, before hugging the twins’ parents.

And Jeno thought, that it was maybe a tad bit too dramatic, but it was a great family portrait.

The DJ started the music when Jaemin let go of Renjun and Yerim, congratulating them and both of them thanking him for the preparations. Jeno saw him looking at him and saying something to the couple, but Jeno couldn’t hear them.

A slow song, _Perfect_ from Ed Sheeran started to come out of the speakers, and everyone made room for both Renjun and Yerim to dance. Renjun placed a hand on Yerim’s waist while his twin put her hand on his best friend’s shoulder, their other hands intertwined in the air, and they started dancing. As if they were the only ones in the world.

They were slowly spinning around, swinging side to side, their heads resting again each other’s. Renjun was whispering something into Yerim’s ear and the bride smiled.

Jeno couldn’t take his eyes off them, and he even feel them watered. His twin looked so happy he could feel it within him.

It was perfect.

The song described them well.

They were _perfect._

The song ended but Renjun and Yerim stayed enlaced. But when _Uptown Funk_ suddenly boosted through the speakers, Yerim tear apart from Renjun and made her way to her brother, pulling Jeno by the hand and on the dancefloor.

“Don’t you dare let me make a fool of myself alone.” she threatened him and pulled up the bottom of her dress, ready to dance.

And Jeno didn’t let her make a fool of herself alone. More and more people joining them and Jeno saw Renjun pushing Jaemin on the dancefloor as well.

After a few songs, the DJ invited the bride to throw her bouquet, and it’s one of Yerim’s friend who caught it, all the girls screaming with her.

Jeno laughed, he never understood this.

Another slow song came up, but this time, it’s Jeno who got to dance it with his sister, coming to her with a gentle smile and leading her back on the dancefloor and getting ready to dance.

As they were slowly swinging, Yerim whispered in his ear.

“The next slow, dance it with him.” she said.

Jeno chuckled but told him he would.

Slowly spinning, he looked around him.

Renjun was dancing with his mother. Their own parents were dancing together, as well as pretty much of their family. Jeno spotted Jaemin next to the buffet, kneeling in front of Daemin. The kid was certainly explaining something that happened to him while he was playing outside because he was making wild arms movements and his smile was almost too big for his face. Jaemin was looking at him with so much love Jeno could feel it.

His smile was certainly too wide because Yerim turned around to look at where he was looking. She wriggled her eyebrows and let him go when the song ended.

Sadly, Jeno couldn’t ask Jaemin because the DJ changed the slow song to a more poppish one, mentioning to everyone to eat something. And Jeno didn’t notice but the starters were already served.

Later, he thought for himself.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Later in the evening, when they finished the main dish and Jeno wasn’t attack by anyone of his family asking him how he was doing or asking how was life in New York anymore, the DJ spoke again.

“Can I please ask the bride and her father to come on the dancefloor for their dance?”

While his sister and father started dancing to _A Thousand Years,_ Jeno started to look for Jaemin again. He had seen Daemin playing with Chenle earlier, but no trace of his father.

He didn’t need to go too far though, because it seemed that Jaemin was looking for him as well. They looked at each other, eyes in the eyes, but they didn’t say anything until Jaemin opened his mouth before Jeno could.

“Would you dance with me?” he asked, in a breathe.

“Yes.” Jeno answered the same way.

Jaemin took his hand, sending a electric wave through Jeno’s body and they made their way between the crowd of people, taking place between all the other couples whom had joined Yerim and their father, and started to dance. Jaemin’s arm encircled his waist while his other hand intertwined their fingers.

Jaemin was a little bit taller but that didn’t stop Jeno from resting the side of his forehead onto Jaemin’s.

He heard him take a breath and felt him closing his eyes, letting them be lead by the music. Jeno closed his eyes as well and let his feet carry him, simply enjoying Jaemin’s presence next to him.

He missed it.

He missed Jaemin.

And this thought made him tighten his grip.

He could feel Jaemin’s cologne and let it fill his nostrils.

“I’m sorry.” Jeno finally whispered.

He felt Jaemin moving his head, burying his nose deeper in his hair.

“I’m sorry I ran away.” the black-haired continued. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“Why did you leave?” Jaemin finally managed to let out. And his voice sounded so tiny, so hurt Jeno wanted to rip his heart out.

“Because I was scared.”

The sounds of the violons somehow appeased Jeno, Jaemin’s grip on him only tightened. It was going to be okay.

“Scared of what?” Jaemin asked.

“Not being good enough.”

“What do you mean?”

Jeno felt Jaemin’s head moving, as if he wanted to look at him, but Jeno didn’t move an inch.

Not now.

Not yet.

“You had a wife.” Jeno explained. “A wife. A kid. You were married. You’ve built a life. I was scared of not fitting. Not being enough for you. Because I’m just me.”

This time, he moved his head back too. It made their foreheads bump gently, their nose were brushing, and they could count each other eyelashes. Jaemin’s eyes were watery.

“But you’re enough. You’re more than enough.” he croaked out, voice hoarse from the lump in his throat. “You’re fitting just right. You’re no compensation of anyone. That was my past. And being you is what made me fall for you.”

At this point, Jaemin had untangled their intertwined hands to put it on Jeno’s cheek, and Jeno had done the same. Keeping one of their arms circled around the other’s waist.

“I couldn’t ask for someone better.” Jaemin said.

He wiped the lonely tear on Jeno’s cheek.

“I love you.” A tear slid down Jaemin’s cheek, and Jeno wiped it away, just like the other did for him a few seconds ago.

And fighting back a sob, Jeno crashed his lips with Jaemin’s.

And starting this moment, nothing mattered anymore, they couldn’t hear the song, nor the loud cheers around them.

It was just _them._

Them and their kiss, tasting longing, wait and forgiveness. Their kiss, tasting all the unspoken words and unsaid pains. And their kiss, tasting all their promises.

Jeno pulled back first, Jaemin chasing for his lips so Jeno let him kiss him again. This time more chaste. The black-haired pulled back once more and all his senses came back to him.

The song had changed, it was now _Always Remember Us This Way_ , and Jeno thought it kind of fitted the moment. He also noticed how everyone was cheering and clapping. But the only person he could see was Jaemin.

Jaemin and his swollen lips.

Jaemin and his shining eyes.

“I love you too.” Jeno whispered, only for them to hear.

Jaemin and his bright smile, pulling him back for another kiss.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


August 23, Daemin’s fourth birthday. There were no big parties at school nor anywhere else. It was just Jaemin and Daemin at home. And they wouldn’t want it another way.

After Daemin opened the most part of his big and little presents, some sent by his grandparents or his uncle Jisung, Jaemin handed him an envelope, smiling widely.

“What it is, papa?” the birthday boy asked, looking at the white envelope strangely.

"Open and you will see.”

Tearing it up, Daemin got a card out of it. He looked at his father excitedly and opened it hurriedly.

“What it is written on it, papa?”

“Congratulations on your new family addition.” Jaemin read out loud.

Daemin furrowed his eyebrows cutely and looked at his father.

“What does it mean? Who is coming into the family?” then, his eyes widened. “Is it a cat, like Jeno has?” he said excitedly.

Jaemin offered him a hand.

“Come with me and you will see.” he chuckled.

He led the toddler to the living room, where a big red wrapped present was placed, near the coffee table.

Daemin’s eyes were wide and the smile on his face could enlighten the world.

“Open it.” Jaemin giggled and Daemin launched himself on it.

But the honey-haired couldn’t help but bit his bottom lip, worried.

Under the red paper wrap was a carton box. The top wasn’t sealed, so Daemin could open it easily. But before he could check what was inside, a head popped out of it.

“Jeno!” Daemin yelled when the black-haired got out of the box. The kid jumped in his awaiting arms and held him tight, laughing in his ears.

Jeno kissed the top of Daemin’s hair, caressing his back as he looked at Jaemin with a smile so soft Jaemin could have melted right on the spot.

Daemin jerked away from Jeno’s hold.

“Wait...” he looked at his dad. “Jeno is not a cat.” he pouted.

Jeno rose a brow at Jaemin, holding back his laugh while Jaemin rolled his eyes at him.

The honey-haired walked to them and kneeled in front of Daemin, pulling his son closer and pointing at Jeno.

“Do you remember what was written on the card?” Jaemin asked him. And when Daemin nodded, he asked again. “Do you know what it means?”

“That someone new will be in our family.” Daemin said. He was silent for a minute before he looked between Jeno and his father. “But why did Nono come out of the box?”

Jeno and Jaemin chuckled. Jaemin sat on the ground, Jeno in front of him, looking fondly at the both of them.

He was so lucky…

“Because Nono is going to live with us, now.” Jaemin explained.

Daemin’s eyes widened again and he shot a big smile at Jeno, who gave one back.

“So, does that mean Nono will be here when I go to sleep?” Jeno and Jaemin nodded. “And when I wake up?” they nodded again.

Daemin shouted a “yes!” and wriggled out of his father’s embrace to go to Jeno instead.

“I want Nono to stay forever.” he mumbled in the black-haired’s neck.

Jeno tightened his grip on him, kissing his head again. He looked at Jaemin with teary eyes and mentioned to him to come closer.

Jaemin engulfed them both in his arms, kissing each of their heads and resting his own on the top of Jeno’s.

He was so lucky…

Daemin moved in their arms, his head now resting on Jeno’s chest. He looked at them by turn.

“What is it, baby?” Jaemin asked, booping his nose.

Daemin mentioned to him to come closer, allowing him to wrap his arms around his father’s neck and kiss him sloppily on the corner of his lips, but Jaemin didn’t mind.

“I love you, papa.”

Jaemin kissed him lovingly on the forehead.

“I love you too, little demon.”

Daemin then turned to Jeno, and did the same he did to Jaemin, kissing him so sloppily Jeno could feel some saliva sticking to the corner of his mouth.

“I love you, Nono. Stay here forever.”

Jeno chuckled at the last part and kissed Daemin’s forehead, where Jaemin kissed him a few seconds ago.

“I love you too, little angel.”

The toddler smiled, happy and satisfied. He made himself comfortable again, putting his tinier hand on Jeno and Jaemin intertwined ones, resting between them.

  


(“I tell you, it’s a matter of time before he calls you papa and replaces me.” Jaemin told him in the evening, in the intimacy of their now shared bedroom.

Jeno snorted.

“He won’t replace you.”

“With you around? Are you kidding me?”

Jeno shushed him with a kiss. Jaemin’s hand immediately roaming _lower._

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Aren’t we going to celebrate?” Jaemin asked, with his shit-eating grin.

Jeno pulled him back in a way more heated kiss.)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> If you liked, kudos and comments are highly appreciated!
> 
> You can also come yell at me here: [Twitter](https://twitter.com/niconeo3)  
> [curiouscat](https://t.co/e1UnChL5kj)


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